Present
(Picture from early days of moonhead creation.)
(Or where the heck did these come from?)
nce
upon a time (all classic stories start out that way), & long, long
ago (or sometimes that way), and many, many, many moons ago, (that's a
lot of moons), before video games, computers and even television,
(believe it or not, there were things going on before then), out in the
farther reaches of space, (somewhere near the moon), a strange small
meteor, (as opposed to a normal meteor), came hurling from even farther
reaches of space - much, MUCH farther, (that's pretty far).
he
strange small meteor was hurling at such an incredible speed, (it would
be considered reckless even on the New Jersey Turnpike), and when it
came upon the moon parked right smack in the way of where it was going,
well, try as it might, that strange small meteor couldn't keep from
smashing right into the moon.
ell, as chance would have it, this 'not normal', (I thought that would be a nice change from 'strange')
small meteor hit so hard that it sent moon rocks
flying into space and some of those moon rocks were combined with fragments of the now destroyed strange small meteor.
any
of these moon rocks that contained fragments of the strange small
meteor went flying towards the earth, landing un-noticed in many parts
of the world.
When the rocks hit the earth, it was with such force that they embedded
themselves deep in the ground not to be seen again (not right away
anyway).
s time went by, (we're not really sure how much), these moon rocks seemed to come to develop "life".
Apparently, something about the fragments
of that strange small meteor caused this to happen in a very strange and magical way, (how else would you explain it?).
s
even more time went by, (again, we don't have a clue how much time),
these now living moon-rock-heads started to develop "bodies" with arms
and legs, etc., etc.,
and this allowed them to finally get out of the ground and walk the
earth, (I'd like to note at this time that they DO take offense to the
phrase, "crawled out from under a rock" since they are the rock).
heir
heads, through evolution or erosion, (there's a great debate between
the "evolutionists" and the "erosionists" within the moonhead community
which is right) their heads smoothed out a bit from the jagged rocky
chunks they once were, to the now rounder, but still a bit uneven and
bumpier shapes they now have.
Even more amazing, they actually started to grow hair. Now of course
you're no doubt wondering how a rock could grow hair - remember the
"strange & magical" thing, it can answer a lot of questions.
hey
strolled around, all pleased (and very self-satisfied) with themselves
that they could do so, but quickly realized there were other beings on
this planet who could do the same - and could chase them in an attempt
to capture them. Now the "moonheads" as they started to call
themselves, could move pretty quick, but these other beings were much
larger. So, the moonheads, having a natural common sense, (which put
them far ahead of most of the larger beings) learned quickly to keep
pretty much out of sight.
ne day however, one moonhead stumbled upon an interesting sight.
There on the porch of a house in the middle of nowhere (of course) was
a larger being who was talking to a smaller being sitting on the larger
being's knee. The smaller being was not like the moonhead, but not
unlike him in that he appeared to not be the same as the larger being -
in fact he looked wooden......
he
moonhead was starting to think that this was a larger being he could
reveal himself to and talk with, something he'd been wanting to do for
a long time, (although no one knows why).
Finally getting up his courage, he started to approach the larger
being. The larger being, spotting this little being walking toward him,
put down the smaller being and stood.
The moonhead saw that the smaller being was suddenly lifeless. He
immediately thought that the larger being had killed the smaller wooden
being somehow, very suddenly. The moonhead was in such shock, he forgot
to run, and before he knew it (isn't that how it usually works?), the
larger being had him!
The moonhead knew he was doomed! (Isn't that always the case in these stories?)
he
moonhead was surprised to hear the larger being say, "I'm going to set
you down now so we can talk. Please don't be afraid and run away.
" (Of course, now you might wonder, how did the larger being know the
moonhead could talk? I think this knowledge came from the screaming and
cussing by the moonhead when the larger being grabbed him, but since
this is a PG rated story, we won't go into exactly what was said.)
The moonhead was still too stunned to run away. The sight of the
lifeless body of the wooden being, and the shock of having been caught
(something that has never happened to a moonhead before) kept him
rooted to where the larger being had set him down.
The larger being noticed the moonhead staring at the wooden being, so
he picked him up and the wooden being immediately came back to life.
Now the moonhead was even more shocked and amazed! The larger being had
the ability to bring the wooden being back to life!
he larger being, seeing the moonhead's amazement, began to laugh.
"Allow me to explain what you are seeing. I am a ventriloquist. Do you know what that is?"
The moonhead didn't have a clue, and having recovered somewhat from the shock and amazement,
was considering a run for the woods.
he larger being went on to explain that the wooden being was a doll created just for him, and that as a
ventriloquist, he created the illusion that the
wooden doll was talking by speaking for the doll without moving his lips,
and by animating the doll in a lifelike way and the misdirection of acting and interacting with the doll as if it were alive.
The larger being explained that this was a form of entertainment and proceeded to talk with the wooden doll to demonstrate.
ow
the moonhead was very interested and was enjoying some of the jokes the
ventriloquist did with his wooden doll (even though some of the jokes
were older than the meteor the moonhead came from) and no longer had
any thoughts about running away. He knew now that he could feel safe
talking with this larger being (as long as he didn't discuss lip
control).
he
moonhead began asking all the questions he'd been wanting to ask the
larger beings like: "Why do larger beings wear pants with the zipper on
the wrong side?" (obviously, moonhead anatomy was somewhat different),
and, "Why don't you have lines on the sides of your jaws?" and "Aren't
you a little old to be playing with dolls?", etc., etc.,
inally
the moonhead ran out of questions for the larger being and had
obviously enjoyed getting to ask about everything he wanted to know,
(he was thinking he could write a book, "Everything you wanted to know
about larger beings, but were afraid to ask"). He felt comfortable with
this larger being, so when the larger being started to ask the moonhead
about himself, the moonhead had no hesitation about telling him
everything, (or everything that is fit to print in this story).
he
moonhead told the larger being all about their creation, the crash and
fusion of the strange small meteor with moonrocks, how they were flung
into space landing here and there about the earth and so on, and so
forth.............(and you know the rest, don't make me repeat myself).
The moonhead went on to tell him all about how they've had to live in
hiding because obviously, if they were found out, well, you could just
imagine what would be done to them, and that this was the first time in
moonhead history that a moonhead had revealed himself to a larger being.
"ell,
before we go any farther", said the larger being, "instead of referring
to ourselves in this story as 'the larger being' or 'the moonhead', why
don't we introduce ourselves, my name is Dave."
The moonhead was at a loss, the moonheads had never really bothered to
name themselves (which made calling each other somewhat interesting if
not difficult....), and he told Dave he didn't have a name.
"Well, then", Dave said, "we'll just have to come up with one for you. You came from the moon, how about 'Moony'?"
The moonhead wasn't sure if he liked it or not, (and didn't really care
actually, he'd gotten by forever without a name, so this really
mattered?), but he said it sounded fine.
"ow
we have to think of what we can do about your problem of having to hide
and I think I have an idea." Dave told Moony. "If you'd like, you can
stay with me and if anyone sees you, I will tell them you are one of my
ventriloquial figures. And since no one is allowed to handle them
except me, you'll be safe."
oony liked this idea, but it bothered him that this only solved his problem, what about the rest
of the moonheads. Moony asked Dave, "Are there
others in the world like you?
"Like me?" Dave asked.
"Yeah, you know, ventriloquists, who could pretend a moonhead was one of their dolls and let the moonhead live with them."
Dave knew what Moony was thinking (as if it wasn't obvious). "I see,
yes, I imagine we could manage to find homes for other moonheads with
other ventriloquists. Is that what you would like to do then?"
"Well, duh" thought Moony, but said instead, "Yes!"
"Then that is what we will do, we will find homes for any moonheads that come to us seeking a home."
ow you may be wondering how I know all of this.......well, as it happens, I am the "Dave" in this story.
It has been interesting having a moonhead living with me and fun too
when I show him to people and they think I'm making him talk. I've even
learned to watch more carefully where I'm walking so I don't step on
him (something you only do once, trust me, I won't say what Moony did
the first and only time I stepped on him, but I won't make that mistake
again).
e've already started finding homes for them, with four MoonHeads
destined to head for Georgia, Washington, California, and New Zealand
where they will be able to happily enjoy the company of the ventriloquists they will be living with.
As new ones come to Moony and myself asking us to find them a place to live, we will put a notice up on this page or perhaps on
ebay with their minimum adoption and transportation fees.
e hope you enjoyed our story.
ave
MoonHead Historian & Adoption Representative
This MoonHead now resides at Vent Haven Museum
When I have any available for sale, I'll post a notice here.
Statistics:
If you purchase a Moonhead, please
feel free to use this story if you like, if you can find a use for it
in creating dialogue or storylines for your Moonhead.
Please Note:
I am unable to take orders for these
as my schedule does not permit me the ability to promise a completion
date and be certain I'll be able to meet that completion date.
So as I have more made and available, they will be posted here.
dickensndave@comic.com
Dickens & Dave
Ventriloquial Associates
Dave Boiano with Hannibal L. Dickens & the Dickens Family
Updated May 20, 2002
bravenet.com